How can we ever possibly achieve contentment if we don’t know what it is?
When we think of contentment as a state of rest, we are setting ourselves up for failure.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot be content with the way your life is (more on this shortly).
It is unnatural and impossible.
Have you ever tried to show gratitude for the nice house you have, or the clothes you wear? Don’t you see how forced it can feel, apart from times when it comes naturally?
It’s because we were not built to achieve perfect contentment this way. As living organisms, we evolved to strive for more.
You need to realize that there are different levels/orders of contentment
There is 1st order contentment — when you try to be satisfied with your life as it is right now. The state of rest I’m talking about.
It’s your house, car, intelligence, job, devices… all those things that exist and they’re just there.
But then there is 2nd order contentment — life IN MOTION (vs rest).
Challenges, progress, striving for more.
It may seem contradictory, but: it’s the feeling of being content about not being content.
Feeling satisfied in your daily life that you get to do this, and you get to that.
Doing (vs merely having).
But not all doing’s are equal.
The greatest contentment comes from activities you find both fulfilling and pleasurable.
It’s enjoyable and it makes you feel accomplished.
It is based on strong intrinsic values.
Values like: growth, improving quality of life, competence, challenge, freedom, etc.
Activities like: body-building, cleaning dirty environments (try it!), learning chess, etc.
Notice how these are all processes — the emphasis is on the action in the moment, not on some far-off target.
Real contentment is getting to engage in activities that manifest a set of well-rounded values. And the knowledge that you get to do them.
And now the gratitude comes more naturally, especially with the delightful anticipation and the pleasant memories of the meaningful experiences.
So it’s not just the fact that you are here now (focus on distance traveled and destination).
It’s the fact that you’re moving there and you get to keep moving (focus on speed and motion).
Let’s make sure we have both in our lives.
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